The World According to Danny: Christmas Festivities


Danny Scarmack, Junior Staff Writer

Hello, this is my segment, and I guess this means I get to make the rules. Therefore, I have decided that I will start each article with a brief synopsis of what this so-called “World According to Danny” will be like. Welcome to the inner thoughts of my mind. For all of you who know me I am sure you are all curious as to what is going on inside of my head. For those that have never met me, entertain the thought of holding a conversation with me. I am certain you will not regret it. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see deeper into my inner thoughts. Anyways, onto the groundbreaking thought of today. 


The inquiry for the moment is: “How early is too early for Christmas festivities?” Now, there are several key pieces of information that must be considered. Number one, Christmas is definitely considered to be one of the more celebrated and anticipated holidays. I make sure to heavily account for this when trying to formulate my opinion. I took a moment to examine all of the other holidays that we celebrate, and noticed one common theme. We decorate before the holiday, and then take these decorations down quickly after the holiday is over. Normally, it is acceptable to decorate and leave the decorations there for the duration of the month it is in. To me, this seems like the perfect amount of time, and I definitely think that it is more than early enough to decorate the first of December. Any earlier, and it would be interfering with the proper course of Thanksgiving celebrations. I am adamant that parades must take place in the same month. This Christmas parade in November nonsense is outrageous, and I demand an end to it. It is cutting into designated turkey time. 


Here is where more complicated issues arise. Christmas music, the age old question that everyone struggles with. The major issue is how few of a selection of song options are out there. When Christmas music is playing, I am almost guaranteed to know all of the lyrics. To me, this is incredibly frustrating. I find myself bored of listening to the same five or so songs for long durations. Hence, I am declaring that Christmas music must be listened to for as little time as possible, while still providing enough of what I would like to call “Christmas Hype.” I think ten days is the perfect amount of time. It carefully toes the delicate line of too much or too little, to find the absolutely perfect amount of time. No radio stations should be allowed to play Christmas music before December 15th. 


Last but not least, I ask myself, “When should the actual holiday be celebrated?” Before you jump to conclusions, I know what you are thinking, “Danny that is crazy, obviously we celebrate Christmas on Christmas.” or, “Here we go again with his nonsensical rambling.” While both may be correct, I never accept things at face value. In order to truly understand I look deeper in order to truly grasp and complexly understand even the simplest of topics. To me, it would be acceptable to celebrate Christmas one day before and one day after Christmas. While this is a general figure, I understand there are certain exceptions in which it is impossible for celebratory activities to be able to fit into such a gracious time period. To this I am accepting and understanding. Sometimes, there are more important tasks that must be completed first. 


According to me, Christmas decorations are allowed to go up anytime after December first, but must be taken down before January first. Christmas is allotted precisely one month of decoration time. All may partake in listening to the joyous sounds of Christmas music any day between December 15th and the 26th. In special cases, if Christmas celebrations must happen after the 26th, Christmas music is allowed in such rare situations. Finally, Christmas dinner, and all official Christmas celebratory activities can be scheduled for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, or the day directly after Christmas Day. Special cases may present themselves in which these days are incompatible for such activities, in which any day in December can be accepted as a makeshift day of Christmas celebrations.